Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘technology’

a hose - Popular Mechanics

Unfortunately we never got around to waterproofing the interiors of homes. Sorry. We really wanted to do it but things around here have been nothing like we expected. We were busy doing other things. 2001 was a particularly crazy year.

We did invent this thing, the internet, though. And with it, all the waterproofed supplies you can dream up are available for purchase through online retailers. You could probably even find out how to make your own waterproofed living room, drain and all. I’ll teach you how to Google something a bit later.

Oh yeah, Future Housewife, we’ve made many technological advances to help you around the house, just don’t expect to be using a hose indoors. Now there are all kinds of cool gadgets to make wife life easy and fun. There’s one, in particular, you should know about, it’s called the Swiffer. It’s wonderful.

Also, you won’t have to spend your days cooped up in the house! Ladies of the 21st century, if they choose, can head out and join the workforce, like the men. In fact, they’ve become quite competitive. But don’t worry, your housework will be waiting for you when you get home.

I guess I just want to apologize for the waterproof house thing. I’m just as bummed as you are. But I promise you that the other things we’ve been doing could possibly be better than the waterproof idea. Judge for yourself, Future Wife.

Love, Spencer

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

I guess this was the next logical step, but I didn’t expect it to come so soon:

From Craigslist

iPhone 4 FaceTime Video Sex Line Chat – free iPhone 4 (NYC/LI)


Date: 2010-06-27, 12:06PM EDT
Reply to: job-dqsyj-1813619670@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Starting an online interactive pornography firm where woman will use the iphone 4 to video chat with potential customers on a pay as you go basis.
Hours are flexible, pay will increase as the business builds. Woman will receive a free iphone 4 to use as personal time when not working. Woman will talk to potential clients and chat with them and perform various acts as desired by clients. All information will be confidential.

Payment will be based on percentage of sales volume and performance. Potential launch date of the company is 9/1/2010 or based on feedback received.

Woman will receive, as before mentioned, a free cell phone and a very competitive salary.

Please send information and pictures – we would like to launch sooner than 9/1/2010.

Woman must be at least 18 years old.

This bit of technology will destroy an entire industry. Callers will demand both sexy images and voices. The homely housewife trying to make an extra buck will need to find work elsewhere. Kind of a shame.

On a related note: Is it possible that Face Time will rid the planet of a certain kind of  lying? How will we tell people we are somewhere when we’re actually somewhere else? I guess it’d be pretty weird for friends to call your bluff by telling you to Face Time them to prove it; it’d definitely be crossing some kind of line. But it seems to add a whole new dimension to couple and spousal politicking, where distrust and paranoia can be the norm. You said you were going here but every time I tried to FT (Face Time) you, you rejected my call and only texted and should I be worried, cause right now I don’t know if I can trust you. Cause when you don’t FT it makes me suspicious… you get the idea.

In the future this bit won’t be funny.

Read Full Post »