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Posts Tagged ‘image’

a hose - Popular Mechanics

Unfortunately we never got around to waterproofing the interiors of homes. Sorry. We really wanted to do it but things around here have been nothing like we expected. We were busy doing other things. 2001 was a particularly crazy year.

We did invent this thing, the internet, though. And with it, all the waterproofed supplies you can dream up are available for purchase through online retailers. You could probably even find out how to make your own waterproofed living room, drain and all. I’ll teach you how to Google something a bit later.

Oh yeah, Future Housewife, we’ve made many technological advances to help you around the house, just don’t expect to be using a hose indoors. Now there are all kinds of cool gadgets to make wife life easy and fun. There’s one, in particular, you should know about, it’s called the Swiffer. It’s wonderful.

Also, you won’t have to spend your days cooped up in the house! Ladies of the 21st century, if they choose, can head out and join the workforce, like the men. In fact, they’ve become quite competitive. But don’t worry, your housework will be waiting for you when you get home.

I guess I just want to apologize for the waterproof house thing. I’m just as bummed as you are. But I promise you that the other things we’ve been doing could possibly be better than the waterproof idea. Judge for yourself, Future Wife.

Love, Spencer

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Pin-Ups

One of the beautiful things about mass-production is that we can have love affairs with people we will never meet. Like the automobile pieced together on a line, images can be produced, re-produced and distributed to such a vast number of people at a relatively small cost. Images of glamourous living, beauty and sex, in particular, make it to the masses and allow everyone, from  the cramped urbanite on a train, to the barefoot boy in a village in the third world,  the opportunity to desire and fall in love with the ideal.

May

There are too many examples to list so I’ll just throw one out. How about Scarlett Johansson?  I look at her and I think, “That girl is perfect.” She has all the attributes I want to see in a woman,  the curves of her body, her plump lips, the scratchy voice. I’m attracted to her vulnerability and loneliness in Lost In Translation and  excited by her passion and coquetry in Match Point.

July

People like that, like Ms. Johanson, their images belong to us and we can treat them as we like.

We can share them. Dispose of them when we grow tired of  their face and find a new one on any channel and on any magazine stand.  We can use them to create standards for our romantic pursuits, as a kind of  high-water mark to measure the the flood levels created by potential lovers.

Eizo, a Japanese medical imaging and precision display company,  play with this idea in one of their marketing campaigns (Butter, Berlin/Duesseldorf, Germany), a nude, pin-up calendar, sure to rumble the bowels of a few radiologists. The images speak for themselves. I like the idea. It’s fun.

August

Some advice:

“This may seem simple, but you need to give customers what they want, not what you think they want. And, if you do this, people will keep coming back.”
John llhan, Turkish–Australian entrepreneur

ufunk

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